Saturday, January 31, 2009

Just a short nap.

When I started this new blog I wasn't very fond of the templates, but I actually like this one now. The colour and style have a late 1800's feel to them that I like. And since this is a new blog it should be different from the one I had on JournalSpace. I actually rewrote the code for my old template to work here but I'm not going to use it. This one also fits better with the mood of my life right now.
My life right now. It feels like it's spiraling out of control and everything I do just seems to make things worse. It feels like the last time I fell, and that's not good. Last time I fell I hit rock bottom, I hit hard and I don't know if I can survive a second time. And if I do how scarred will I be afterward. The scars I have now, both physical and emotional, are hard to carry sometimes.
What I need is rest. Not just normal rest, but rest for my whole being. As Hamlet said:
“To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life”
I just don't want the death part, I've had enough of that in my life as well.

4 comments:

becomingkate said...

This is the first template I picked too.
Your post reminded me of this song about depression:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5d0JbnYx6A

Hope you get that rest.

Doug said...

I have never fallen as far as others, and it sounds so horrible that I hope I never do. I hope you dont, either. I hope you find a way to get the rest you are lookikng for.

Fake-brunette lives said...

it is the moments of intence sadness

Eo-Per-Nex said...

Kate – Rest seems to be something I don’t have control over at the moment.

Doug – I don’t want to either. Thanks.

F-B – Intense sadness and infinite loneliness.

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