Just a short nap.

When I started this new blog I wasn't very fond of the templates, but I actually like this one now. The colour and style have a late 1800's feel to them that I like. And since this is a new blog it should be different from the one I had on JournalSpace. I actually rewrote the code for my old template to work here but I'm not going to use it. This one also fits better with the mood of my life right now.
My life right now. It feels like it's spiraling out of control and everything I do just seems to make things worse. It feels like the last time I fell, and that's not good. Last time I fell I hit rock bottom, I hit hard and I don't know if I can survive a second time. And if I do how scarred will I be afterward. The scars I have now, both physical and emotional, are hard to carry sometimes.
What I need is rest. Not just normal rest, but rest for my whole being. As Hamlet said:

“To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause: there's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life”

I just don't want the death part, I've had enough of that in my life as well.

I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I had a conversation with a friend about my journal. In the course of that conversation I was persuaded to not give it up. This was echoed by another friend in a separate conversation. So, in the interest of keeping my friends happy and not letting the chaos that has invaded my life to take over, I am going to keep posting.
One of my friends told me that, with things seeming to go crazy with bits of my life flying off in random directions, maybe I need this outlet more than I realize. Maybe she's right. I guess there's only one way to find out.
Time to see how many more skeletons are hiding in the closet.

And So It Goes

I have come to what seems to be an inevitable decision. I have become increasingly dissatisfied with journaling/blogging since the JournalSpace collapse in December. I just don't seem to get the same feeling from it anymore. Because of this feeling I will not be updating my blog. I am not going to delete it in case I decide to come back to it, but I will let it go dormant. I may check other people's pages from time to time, but those will most likely be rare events.

To those who read my posts and commented on occasions, thanks for stepping into my life for whatever brief moments you could. To those who's journals I read, thanks for giving me a little window into your lives.

My best wishes to all of you.


eo-per-nex

Time Flies

I didn't realize that it has been a week since my last post. I still haven't been able to get back into the habit of checking blogs and posting to mine. Add in the things that I'm dealing with in my day-to-day life and I just don't seem to have the time and/or motivation. What a mess things can seem to become sometimes.

Interior Decorator Needed

I have decided to keep posting. Part of what bothers me about blogger is the layout, patterns and colours of the templates. So last night I started digging through the code and changing things to match what I want it to look like. It may take me a few days to actually get things uploaded due to my current school/work schedule, but things will be changed.
Now if the guys in dark suits and sunglasses would stop following me around...

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

When I set this up I was sure that I would get back to posting entries pretty much like I had before. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's the fact that this is a new site or that most of the people I kept up on are now scattered across several different sites. I can't just pick up from where I left off, it's not the same. I feel like I'm starting over from the beginning and I don't want to. This feels far more different than I thought it would and I'm not sure I like it. One thing I am sure of is that I need time to think about all this.

JS Refugee

Just another JS refugee who has found a new place to settle. I will most likely just continue on from the point I was at on journalspace. I'll also post my old JS entries from time to time to make this a true continuation of my previous blog.